Dispatches from the Seventh Floor: Going Away Parties

Yesterday at work we had a farewell party for one of our top project managers who took a job at another company. It was a pretty weird situation since, as far as I could tell, no one really liked her all that much. Our working relationship had actually gotten better over the past few months, but for the most part she was temperamental control-freak who I dreaded working with. They passed around a goodbye card for everyone to sign and I sat starting at it for a long time contemplating a sincere message that would be appropriate for the occasion. Finally I settled on "The company won't be the same with out you." Honest, but vague enough to conceal my true feelings. Perfect.

The "party" went something like this. My boss said, "It's been so great working with you. We're all going to miss you." .... Silence. Then we got back to eating our pizza in silence. For the most part, we kind of suck when it comes to talking to each other. We communicate much better through long, complicated email threads. At the end of the day, why walk down the hall when you can convey your message behind the comforting distance of a cc.

Farewell parties can be pretty strange. When I was working at the hotel, they threw me and another girl a college graduation / going away party. She was becoming a teacher. I was moving to Colorado. Little did I realize that I would end up working at another hotel... and then moving back home, and picking up where I left off at the same job. Luckily, it turned out not to be too weird, because about 50% of the hotel employees had also left at some point only to return later. Sometimes multiple times. One housekeeper had left and come back three or four times, and still insisted on having a goodbye party each time.

I for one have reached the point where I officially oppose any sort of going away party. There's just too much potential for it to be weird. The going-away-er is either way too quiet and you know they're can't wait to leave their miserable job, or they get really chatty and go on and on about how much they'll miss everyone/the office/etc, etc. Sigh. Even if there was the prospect of free cake and soda, who has the time to deal with this sort of pesky "human interaction"? Work life is so much simpler when you go into the office, stare straight ahead at your computer screen and shut down all of your emotions. The only safe way to avoid "office drama" (talking to people) is to give off the impression that you're dead inside. Trust me, it works.